A Tale of Two Nicktoons
by HelgaGP
Summary: The worlds of Invader Zim and Hey Arnold become one when Arnold and Helga move to Zim's city. Now Zim has learned Helga's secret and is using it as blackmail. 3rd in my Invader Jen series! Hey! Stuff is actually happening!
1. Chap 1 Sugar High Irken and Helga's Movi...

Hello! Yes, It is I, HelgaGP! The author who has 2 other stories she should be getting finished on here! But I'm starting to post this one anyway! Why? Because I started it nearly a YEAR ago! And because my friend Malia gave me the idea and she's probably wondering why I haven't gotten it up yet. I'm almost finished writing it in my notebook too so hopefully you'll get to read it all and I wont get a severe case of writer's block or amnesia and not be able to finish it.  
  
But enough talking.  
  
This is dedicated to Malia since she gave me the idea, most of the plot and nearly everything. I pretty much just wrote a story about it. THANK YOU MALIA!  
  
Also, this IS an Invader Zim/ Hey Arnold crossover. And NO it is NOT a Hey Arnold bashing fic. If you look at my pen name you'll see that I LIKE Hey Arnold. Not as much as I like IZ but it's my next fav Nicktoon (Okay they're my ONLY fav Nicktoons). This is also the 3rd story in my 'Invader Jen' series. Meaning my fan character Jen is in this.  
  
I do not own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez does (and technically Nickelodeon and Viacom but I don't like to think about that). I don't own Hey Arnold either, that's Craig Bartlett's.  
  
Now, after a year, here is 'A Tale of Two Nicktoons'.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter 1- 'A Sugar-High Irken and Helga's Moving'  
  
"Yes my pretty! Burn! Burn! Hehehehehe!" Jen cackled evilly as she watched her prey turn black at the end of the metal stick on which it was speared. The flame it was held above blazed higher to lick at the burning victim. Jen watched it, her sapphire blue Irken eyes full of half-crazed excitement.  
  
"Burn, my pretty! BURN!! Hehehehehe! Hahahahaha!" She laughed as the now unrecognizable figure burst into flame. "Mwuhahahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahaha-ACK!" Her robot, Cat, took the stick from her and ate the figure at the end as his master started coughing and chocking. "My squeedily- spooch!" She gasped between coughs.  
  
"Geese, Jen. Take it easy." Dib said from beside the chocking alien. "It's just a marshmallow." Jen continued coughing a moment longer then turned to Cat.  
  
"Hey.that was my marshmallow!" She exclaimed. Cat giggled and ran to the back of the room and began jumping on the large trampoline. Jen shrugged and put another marshmallow on the stick. When it was completely burned she pulled it off and stuck the gooey mess in her mouth. "Mmm.marshy."  
  
"How-How can you EAT that?" Jen's cousin, Zim asked, his red eyes were wide with disgust.  
  
Jen, Zim, Dib, Dib's sister Gaz and the robots Cat and Gir were all sitting in a semi-circle around the big-screen TV in Jen's game room watching 'Back to the Future'. Everyone except Zim had been roasting marshmallows over some candles. He didn't even really want to be there but Jen had forced him into coming, threatening to sabotage his computer system if he didn't.  
  
"It's good!" Jen exclaimed, answering Zim's question. "Have you ever even tried it?" Jen held out a stick to Zim, a marshmallow at the end. Zim shook his head and moved a few inches away. "Come on Zimmy! Just try it! It's good!" Jen insisted. She got out of her beanbag chair and crawled closer to him. "You know you want to!"  
  
"NO! Get it away from me!" Zim screamed. He leaped to his feet and ran to the other side of the room taking shelter under the trampoline. Jen stood up and ran after him, holding the marshmallow out in front of her.  
  
"Come on Zimmy! Just try the thing! You'll like it, I promise! Here Zimmy Zimmy Zimmy!" She jumped up onto the trampoline and looked through the black netting to find Zim looking up at her. "Hello Zim!" She called then ate the marshmallow and began jumping, coming down close to Zim every time but never hitting him.  
  
Cat and Gir saw the game and decided to join in. They pulled the marshmallows off their sticks and ran under the trampoline where they then proceeded to rub the goo in Zim's face. Jen fell over laughing.  
  
"AHHHHH!!" Zim screamed as the S.I.R.s attacked him with their sticky weapons. "Stop! Gir! Cat! Stop this instant!" Gir's eyes turned red and he obediently stepped away. His eyes returned to their normal aqua color and he rolled on the floor laughing his head off as he watched Cat continue the wash Zim's face with marshmallow.  
  
Over near the TV Dib was watching, laughing at Zim's misery.  
  
"Would you be quiet?" Gaz complained, still attempting to watch the movie. "Marty's about to get hit by the car."  
  
"YAAAAAYYYYYY!" Cat and Gir yelled and ran back to their beanbags. They sat quietly, intent on the movie until Marty got hit then they began laughing in a high-pitch scream.  
  
"Robots." Gaz muttered, rolling her eyes. Zim returned to his chair, trying to pull the marshmallow from his face. It wasn't working too well. Jen remained on the trampoline she had too much energy to sit still.  
  
"Horrible Earth candy." Zim murmured. "When I'm made ruler of this planet 'Marshmallows' will be the first thing to go."  
  
"Right," Dib replied. "Like that'll ever happen. Besides I thought bees, water and me were going to be the first things to go."  
  
"Grrrrrrrrrr BE QUIET!" Zim screamed. "How dare you correct me?! I'm smarter than your marshmallows!" Dib raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"That was just stupid. Besides, it's just a marshmallow! Oh no! The mighty Irken Invader got a little sticky!" Dib mocked. "Don't be such a baby."  
  
"Actually Zim would be a shmeet." Jen said. She was now lying on her stomach with her head propped up in her hands on the trampoline. "Baby Irkens are called shmeet." She grinned, rolled over onto her back and hugged herself "They're so cute!" She returned to her stomach and let her arms dangle over the side, scowling at the floor. "Then they grow up and go off to conquer planets and kill things."  
  
"Okay then, don't be such a shmeet." Dib corrected himself. Zim glared at him.  
  
"Foolish human! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME!!" Zim screamed. A few moments of silence fell over them. A minute later Zim got an evil smirk on his face. "Maybe YOU'RE the one who shouldn't be such a baby!" He exclaimed, obviously proud of his comeback.  
  
Jen sat up and let her legs hang over the side of the trampoline. "That was the lamest comeback in the history of.stuff. Plus it was WAY too late!" She chuckled a little. "But Dib's right, it's not the end of the world." She laughed. "ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING IT END!!" She screamed, her and Dib burst out laughing. Gaz turned on the closed- captioning on the TV.  
  
Zim glared at his cousin angrily. If looks could kill Jen and every other thing within a mile would have dropped dead in that moment.  
  
"RrrrrrrRRRRRR!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!" He screamed. He stood up and marched stiffly out the door, slamming it behind him. Jen reflexively put her arms over her head protectively like she had on Irk while her and Zim had lived in a little apartment that was literally falling apart. When the ceiling didn't fall on her she put her arms down.  
  
"Oh, Zim! Come back! We were just kidding!" She called. But she knew it was no use, the walls in the game room were padded thickly like in a nut house or something. This was mainly to keep the S.I.R.s from hurting themselves. Jen shrugged and continued jumping, bouncing off the walls a couple times for fun.  
  
"He is way too serious!" Jen told everyone a moment later. "I wish he would just loosen up sometimes! Have a little fun."  
  
"Stop trying to conquer Earth." Dib added. He watched as Jen tried to do a back flip but ended up landing on her back. "Are you sure you two are related?" He asked. "Maybe you should get a DNA test done. You know, just to be sure."  
  
Jen sat up again and thought a moment. "Hey! Good idea!" She exclaimed sarcastically. "I think they're having a sale down at the hospital; Two autopsies for the price of one!"  
  
"You don't have to be sarcastic." Dib replied. "I thought maybe one of you would have something down in your labs that could do a blood test."  
  
"Oh." Jen said. "Hmm. I dunno, maybe I do. Never looked." She swung her legs over the edge again and let them swig back and forth. "But, yeah, we really are related. You can just look at us and tell! We've been mistaken for twins at times."  
  
Dib looked at her and pictured her with red eyes, she would look exactly like Zim if weren't for the eyes. "I can believe that." He told her.  
  
"I dunno, maybe I'm cursed or something." Jen said.  
  
"Would you be quiet now? I'm still trying to watch the movie." Gaz complained. Cat and Gir turned around and matched Gaz's scowl, they nodded once in agreement and turned to watch the TV again.  
  
"Sorry." Jen apologized. She jumped off the trampoline, walked over to the semi-circle of beanbag chairs and fell into hers. "Maybe Zim just needs to find his 'inner child'." She suggested thoughtfully.  
  
"What?" Dib asked, giving her a strange look.  
  
"I dunno, I heard it on some karate show." She replied with a shrug as she lined up four candles and stuck four marshmallows on her metal spear. "Or just try one of these! They're really good. I can't believe they haven't discovered these on Irk yet!" She held the marshmallows over the candles. "Hehehe! Burn 'em at the stake!" She cried in a voice that sounded like she had sucked in too much helium. Finally they all burst into flames, Dib backed away a few inches as Jen raised them like a torch. "Oooooh yeah! I could light SIX candles with this thing!" She blew them out and ate them one by one.  
  
"You're more dangerous than Cat and Gir some times." Dib told her. "You shouldn't be aloud around fire."  
  
"Aww! I like fire!" She pouted then she smiled. " Now! Where did I put my golden 2-by-4? I need to comb Cat with a tomato so he's all shinny for his trip into the clouds!" Cat looked at her, his purple eyes looked scared. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty!" Jen giggled. Cat screamed once and ran behind the bookcase.  
  
Jen shrugged and reached for the marshmallows. Dib quickly pulled them out of her reach.  
  
"Okay I think you've had enough of these." Dib told her. Jen's eyes widened.  
  
"WHAT?! NO! I neeeeeeeeed those!" She made a grab for them but Dib quickly pulled them out of her reach. "Please?" Jen asked sweetly.  
  
"No." Dib replied.  
  
"Just ONE more?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh c'mon!"  
  
"No, Jen. No more."  
  
"Please? Please, Dib?" She looked at him as if she were about to cry. Dib just laughed.  
  
"No."  
  
"But I want them."  
  
"No, too much sugar."  
  
"Dibby? Please? Do you want to make me cry?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then let me have the marshmallows!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Pleeeeeeeeeeease?"  
  
"No, when you start talking about combing your robot with a tomato you've had enough." Dib said. Jen crossed her arms and turned toward the TV.  
  
"Aww! You're no fun!" She pouted. A second later she jumped out of her beanbag again and ran to the trampoline. "Oo I love the way you, love the way you love me!" She sang loudly. "I don't know the rest of those words soo. Oo! You gotta lose yourself in the music the moment you want it, you better never let it go! You only get one shot." She mumbled a little on the words she didn't know. ".Here's your chance to blow an opportunity of a life time." She stopped jumping and thought a moment. "Okay," She said, "I think I just murdered the words to that song!"  
  
Dib chuckled. "Note to self," He said making his voice loud enough for Jen to hear make it sound like she wasn't supposed to. "Do NOT give Irkens too much sugar.effects.not pretty."  
  
"NO!" Jen screamed. "Give the Irkens sugar! Lots of sugar! AND THOSE MARSHMALLOWS!!" She jumped off the trampoline, ran over to the other side of the room and attempted to tackle the nearly empty bag of marshmallows setting beside Dib. She ended up on her face flat on the floor.  
  
"How about some cashews?" Dib offered, looking down at the back of her head, her face still in the floor. "These are good too."  
  
"Do they have sugar?" Jen asked, her voice muffled by the dark purple carpet.  
  
"No." Dib replied. He rattled the can a little.  
  
"Oh." Jen replied, her antenna lowered an inch or too in disappointment. She sighed and sat up. "Mmm, might as well." She shrugged and took the can. She took out one of the curved nuts and studied it. "It looks kinda like the moon," She said. Cat started laughing.  
  
"JEN'S EATIN' THE MOON!!" Cat screamed. Gir looked disappointed.  
  
"Aww! Master said I could destroy the moon!" Gir whined. Jen gave him a nut too. "YAY! I'S GONNA EAT DA MOOOOON!!" Gir threw the cashew into his mouth and crunched loudly on it. Gaz glared at him and he quieted down a little.  
  
"Good." Gaz said. "Now can we just watch what's left of the movie?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Olga! Get down here!"  
  
"Helga, Bob. My name is Helga." Helga Pataki muttered as she slowly descended the stairs where her father, Big Bob Pataki, stood waiting for her at the bottom. He watched her as he impatiently drummed his fingers on the banister.  
  
"Honestly, Dad, I've been your daughter for nine years now. Don't you think you should probably learn my name soon?" Helga complained as she walked past her dad as sat down in the big blue recliner.  
  
"Whatever." Bob replied. "Listen, Helga, I've been thinking about the beeper business a lot lately."  
  
"There's a big surprise." Helga grumbled. Bob came over and sat down on the edge of the couch, facing his daughter.  
  
"It's time I start to think about expanding!" Mr. Pataki went on, not hearing Helga. "Well, start thinking of it again anyways. The last time I expanded my beeper empire, a really BIG expansion I mean, was over nine years ago." Bob trailed off to think fondly of the memory for a moment.  
  
"And you're telling me this.why?" Helga asked. She wasn't interested in the slightest. Her mind began to wander to her favorite subject; a football headed boy named Arnold. In her mind she sighed happily.  
  
"Well, here's my favorite part!" Big Bob began; his eyes were sparkling with excitement. "Pack your bags Helga! The Patakis are moving to.er.somewhere else!"  
  
Helga jumped out of her chair so fast she lost her balance and fell to the floor. "WHAT!?" She screamed from the floor.  
  
"We're moving!" Bob repeated. Helga looked up at him, shocked.  
  
"What? Er.why.or.When?" Helga stammered finally choosing the question she felt was most important.  
  
"This weekend!" Her dad answered excitedly.  
  
"This weekend." Helga repeated quietly, dazed. Her heart sank lower every second. She had three days. But to do what? Tell Arnold she was madly in love with him?  
  
Yeah right!  
  
It would take a lot more than moving to get THAT secret out of her!  
  
"Go up stairs and start packing!" Mr. Pataki told her, still overjoyed and oblivious to his daughter's obvious shock. "We've not a minute to waste! I've got to go tell your mom."  
  
Helga snapped out of her stupor. "You haven't even told MOM yet?!"  
  
Bob waved a hand near his head. "Aw, minor details. She'll be fine with it. Now go pack." Bob walked into the kitchen. "Great news Miriam!" Helga heard him announce. A moment later she heard a blender start up on high speed.  
  
Helga turned and slowly started toward the stairs to her room. Half way up she stopped and pulled the golden heart locket out of her hidden pocket in her dress.  
  
"This weekend." She whispered as she looked at Arnold's picture. Tears burned her eyes and blurred his face. Helga quickly pushed the locket back into her pocket and sprinted the rest of the length to her room.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well? How was that? I know I'll most likely get flamed for making a Zim- fic that doesn't end with complete destruction of the other Nicktoon and doesn't make it look dumb. But please review anyway. Who knows, maybe there's more IZ/ HA fans out there than I thought.  
  
So please review and make me and Malia happy! Oh so happy we will be! Then if we do get flames we can roast marshmallows over it and work on our Rpfic in sugar-high bliss! C'ya!  
  
~HelgaGP 


	2. chap 2 Zim's Plan and Arnold's Moving

Hmmm. Maybe this fic wont be a failure after all! I just thought I'd be flamed more for it. YAY for no flames! I don't think I've had any yet anyways. *Shrugs* Aw, well. Thanks for all of you who have supported the idea of a HA/IZ crossover! Don't worry your HA fandom secret is saaaaaafe with meeeeeee! *Laughs like a maniac*  
  
Sorry, I'm still in a good mood from seeing a new IZ! YAY! Now on with story!  
  
No own nothin', K? Me English no goodest. Teacher annoy I much. Nea. O_o  
  
P.s. I know the first chapter was slow. Bear with me kay?  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter 2- Zim's Plan and Arnold Moving  
  
"Stupid Dib-human!" Zim growled angrily and he zapped a picture of Dib with a laser gun. "Stupid Jen-Irken!" He zapped a picture of his cousin, too mad at the two to notice that he had nearly insulted his own race. "I have lame come-backs, huh? I'll show YOU lame come-backs!" Another Jen picture was reduced to ashes. "Dare to call Zim a baby?! I'm FAR older than YOU!" Zim yelled and shot the last picture of Dib. He stood a moment, breathing hard from anger and staring at the large pile of ash, the remains of every picture of Jen and Dib that Zim could find.  
  
"Ah! That's better!" He commented as he watched a thin stream of smoke rise slowly from the pile. "Now! Back to work!" He walked over to the other side of the room and began working on his latest device.  
  
"What'cha doin'?" Gir asked as he skipped into the lab, accompanied by a rubber piggy and Cat. Cat grinned and waved at Zim. Zim scowled back at Jen's S.I.R.  
  
"Don't you ever have anything better to do than hang around Gir over here?" Zim demanded. Cat smiled innocently at him.  
  
"Sure!" He replied. "Sometimes I hang out with Gir at MY house!" The two S.I.R.s burst into a fit of laughter and rolled around on the floor. Zim growled.  
  
"Gir needs to help ME now!" He said angrily. "Sooo..go away. Go! Shoo! Go help Jen with whatever she does." Zim waved the wrench at Cat a little.  
  
"AHHHHH!!" Cat screamed at the wrench fearfully. He sat in silence a moment then dove into the ashes and giggled happily.  
  
"Grrrrrr NO! GO HOME!!" Zim screamed and used the wrench to point at the elevator that led to the main house.  
  
"Yooooooooooou're nooooooooot my maaaaaaaasterrrrrrrr!" Cat sang and threw a handful of ashes at Zim. Gir laughed hysterically as the ashes hit Zim's red shirt and fell to the floor, leaving a gray smudge on the shirt. Cat grinned, his purple eyes glowing happily. Zim took a few steps forward, holding the wrench over his head, threatening to hit the robot that was annoying him so badly.  
  
Cat jumped out of the ashes and ran to the elevator, laughing the whole way. Zim glared at the elevator in its transparent tube as it rose, Cat dancing and waving in side it.  
  
"Good." The alien sighed once Cat was finally out of sight. Gir stared up at the hole in the ceiling, which his friend had just disappeared through a moment then turned his attention to the piggy.  
  
"Now Gir, I need you to give me the tools I ask for as I work on my newest and most INCREDIBLE device!" Zim announced as he walked over to the large metal device and began tightening a bolt inside it.  
  
It looked like an enormous metal box. A two-by-two foot TV screen was installed in the middle of the front at about Zim's eye-level.  
  
Gir cocked his head to the side and stared at it. "Does it make tuna?" He asked curiously. Zim frowned as he worked on the bolt.  
  
"No. No tuna." He replied. "This will be used for FAR better purposes than tuna!"  
  
"What good is it if it don't make tuna?" Gir mumbled to himself as he walked over to the TV screen and stared at it. "Where does the tuna come out?" He asked louder. Zim sighed.  
  
"There is NO TUNA." He explained carefully. "With this machine I will send a message over the television that will hypnotize the entire population of Earth!" He laughed evilly. "The Hypno-machine 3000!"  
  
"Even the tuna?" Gir asked. Zim stopped laughing and thought for a moment.  
  
"Yes. Even the tuna if they're watching my brilliant commercial." He answered. Gir laughed. "Now Gir, hand me the..weldy..thingy.." Gir obediently gave his master the torch. As Zim welded something inside the machine, Gir began channel surfing on the TV.  
  
"Now where's that tuna?" He wondered out loud. Zim didn't notice this. "Ooo! 'Whose Line is it Anyway'!" Gir exclaimed he became confused. "I don't know! Maybe it's Cat's line. Or no, I think its Gaz's. Hehehe! I push a button!" He pushed the down button and the channel turned to 'Barney Meets the Teletubies.' He screamed and pushed up twice, passing 'Whose Line' to find a new show. He grinned when the new show came up and sat down to watch it.  
  
"Gir! I need the wrench again!" Zim called, still welding. "Gir! The wrench!" He waited a few moments but Gir wasn't listening. When a wrench still wasn't given to him Zim turned his head away from his work. "GIR! What are you doing?! I need a-" The torch moved an inch to the right by accident, hitting some wires. A blinding white light flashed through the lab.  
  
Gir screamed, then laughed as he watched Zim be flung across the room by the force of the explosion. Smoke rose from the machine.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!" Zim screamed after getting back to the machine. "What did I do wrong? What happened?!" He examined the damage and sighed. "This will take DAYS to repair!" He picked up the wrench and began repairing what he could. "That was close! I hope this teaches you to listen to me more carefully"  
  
But Gir wasn't listening. The show that he had been watching was gone, replaced by black and white fuzz.  
  
"Awww! It's broken!" Gir complained sadly. He switched the channel up, an infomercial for knives appeared. He switched it down and fuzz came up. Down again, Collin Mockery and Ryan Styles playing props with two large candy canes. Back up, fuzz.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So did you hear? Helga's Moving!" Gerald Johannsen exclaimed. He punched his fist into the air. "YES!! This has GOT to be the best thing to happen around here for a LONG time!" He tossed a red Frisbee to Sid.  
  
"I know!" Sid replied. "I heard about that last night. Do you know how many birthday wishes I've given for this event?" He sent the Frisbee to Stinky Petersen.  
  
"I wonder what our lives'll be like without Helga G. Pataki around to make our days living nightmares?" Stinky drawled. He threw the disc in Arnold's direction.  
  
"Helga's moving too?" Arnold asked. "When?" He threw the Frisbee across the circle to Sid.  
  
"I heard she was moving tomorrow." Gerald answered. He raised an eyebrow at his best friend. "And what do you mean by 'too'?"  
  
"Who else is leavin'?" Stinky asked.  
  
"Is it Rhonda?" Sid exclaimed. "I hope its Rhonda! She can get on my nerves sometimes." He exaggerated on smoothing the few thin strands of black hair below his green hat. "Like my new hair do?" He asked. "It's ALL the rage in France! And my new shoes are all the way from Austria!" Sid laughed. 'She has so much imported stuff she could be sent out of America as an illegal alien!" Stinky and Gerald laughed.  
  
"It's not Rhonda, Sid." Arnold broke in, sounding a little uneasy.  
  
"Curly?" Stinky guessed. "Is he bein' sent to the nut house or sumthin'?" Arnold shook his head.  
  
"No. It's me." Arnold answered. Gerald let go of the Frisbee at the wrong moment, sending it flying into Sid's head. Stinky started laughing again.  
  
"Golly Arnold! For a minute there I thought you says that YOU was the one movin'!" He exclaimed with a chuckle. "Wouldn't that be a crazy happenin'?"  
  
"I did say that." Arnold replied sadly. "I start at my new school on Monday."  
  
"Arnold! You can't leave!" Gerald exclaimed. "What will we do without you here, man?" Arnold shrugged.  
  
"It'll be complete MAYHEM!!" Sid cried. "Problems will go unsolved! Friendships wont heal! People will fail their worst classes! Businesses will close! The moon and stars will FALL FROM THE SKY!!!" Sid had lost it. He fell to the ground and began pulling up fistfuls of grass. "It'll be madness! MADNESS!!"  
  
"Come on, Sid! It won't be THAT bad." Arnold assured him. "I doubt that me moving will cause the stars and moon to fall out of the sky." Sid shot up to a sitting position; his eyes wide and his mouth open in terror.  
  
"ALIENS WILL ABDUCT US ALL!!" He screamed. "We'll be made SLAVES for their HORRIBLE race of man-eating PIXIES!!" Stinky, Arnold and Gerald stared at Sid for a moment.  
  
"I think what Sid means to say is you're a great friend and it's hard to believe that you're really leaving." Gerald said.  
  
"What I meant to say is." Sid said calmly. Then he lost it again. "I DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN BY PIXIES!!"  
  
"Sid, I really think you're over reacting." Arnold told him.  
  
"Am I, Arnold? AM I REALLY?!"  
  
"Yes, Sid. You are!" Arnold replied.  
  
"Oh." Sid sat calmly on the grass.  
  
"So why ya leavin us Arnold?" Stinky asked. Arnold sighed.  
  
"Grandpa finally got fed up with the boarding house." He answered. "He and Grandma went house shopping last week. They found one they liked and, well, they bought it." Gerald laughed.  
  
"Is that it?" He asked. "The boarding house again? That easy, man! You talked him out of it once, just do whatever you did when he got the idea of moving to Para Casidia, or whatever that place was called." Gerald's smiled faded when he noticed his friend's face didn't change.  
  
"I don't think that'll help this time." Arnold told him with a sigh. "I guess on Monday both me and Helga will be starting in new schools."  
  
"Hey! I jus' got a crazy idear!" Stinky exclaimed. "What if you and Helga ended up in the same school? Wouldn't that jus' be sumthin'?" Arnold laughed a little.  
  
"That would be strange." He admitted. "But the chances of that would be, what? One in one million?" Arnold laughed again. "If that were to happen you'd almost have to wonder if there was something that wanted me and Helga the stay together!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
How'd ya like it? Review please!  
  
~HelgaGP 


	3. Chap 3 2 am On Some Random Night When Th...

I don't have anything to say right now. I don't own IZ, HA or any other brand name or stuff that you KNOW I don't own, kay? I just own Jen and Cat. Read and Review.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter 3- 2 a.m. on Some Random Night When This All Takes Place  
  
"What's that one?" Jen asked. She pointed toward a little orange star sparkling in the crisp night sky. "I bet that one's a planet!"  
  
Dib squinted up at it then typed the coordinates into his laptop. "No, that's another star." He answered. Jen lay back on the roof and stared up at the sky, searching for a bright dot that might be a planet. Or even better, a dot that MOVED that could be an alien spacecraft.  
  
A few months ago when she lived on Irk Jen wouldn't have thought anything about seeing a UFO flying in the sky. But on Earth, where it didn't happen every day, it was more fun to sit up on a roof at 2 a.m. staring at the sky. Even if they didn't find anything, at least she had someone to talk to now.  
  
Jen stretched her arms and folded them behind her head. She flicked her antennae forward once then back just to feel the cool air on them. Irk had always had the same weather ALL the time. Perfect temperature and perfect weather. Jen liked the way Earth's atmosphere changed. Except rain. She didn't like rain.  
  
"What about...that one?" Jen asked, pointing out a tiny red dot just barely visible near the end of the Big Dipper. "See it?"  
  
"Yeah." Dib replied, typing in the coordinates. "No. Another star." Jen frowned a moment then nodded.  
  
"I didn't expect the computer to know that one." She told him. "But it IS a planet. It's just got some high-tech cloaking thingy on it." Jen put her arm under her head again. Dib looked over at her. She was still watching the dot but her face had become blank almost as if she were in a trance. Suddenly she scowled.  
  
"I hate that planet." She said and rolled over onto her belly, laying her head in her folded arms. Dib watched her suspiciously.  
  
"You've been there?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, I've been there." Jen answered with a small yawn. She closed her eyes and smiled again. "You've got a comfy roof." Dib had a feeling she was trying to change the subject but the paranormal investigator side of him wouldn't let him drop it.  
  
"What is that planet?" He asked, looking up at the red dot. Jen opened her eyes again and stared at Dib a moment. Trying to tell him she didn't want to talk about it. But Dib wasn't looking at her and didn't see the look.  
  
"That's Irk." Jen sighed. "The most evil, self-centered, and greediest planet in the universe." She paused and glared at the planet again. "I HATE it."  
  
"Oh." Dib concentrated on the computer again, sorry he had asked. He didn't know much about Jen's life before Earth, but he knew it had been awful. At least, she thought it had. It made him wonder why she had pointed out her home planet.  
  
"Hey, where are Cat and Gir?" he asked, mostly to change the subject. The silence that was usually filled with their robotic babbling was pretty nice though.  
  
"They stayed home tonight." Jen replied her voice was a bit quieter than usual.  
  
"Oh. Something on TV they wanted to watch?" Dib asked. Jen nodded.  
  
"Of course." She replied. "Why else would they stay home?" She chuckled a little. "Some marathon on Nickelodeon." She laughed. "That evil channel. So much wasted TV space." Dib laughed a little.  
  
"So what were they watching on the evil channel?" He asked.  
  
"One of the few actually good shows at least." Jen replied. She opened her mouth to say the title of the show then stopped. She closed her mouth again and thought a moment. Dib glanced over and saw her thinking hard about something.  
  
"What?" He asked nervously. He glanced across the street, where Jen seemed to be looking, but saw nothing. "What's wrong?" She thought a moment longer then shook her head.  
  
"Nothing. I just forgot the name of the show. That's all." She didn't mention that she hadn't forgotten just the title of the show, but EVERYTHING she had ever known about it as well. But she knew that if she told Dib this he'd immediately get suspicious that something was going on. So she kept it to herself.  
  
Instead she sat up again and pointed at another star near the moon. "What's that one? That looks like it might be a planet." Dib typed it into his laptop.  
  
"Saturn." He answered a few seconds later. Jen moved closer and looked over his shoulder to learn more about this new planet. There was a picture of a large planet with many rings around it.  
  
"Never heard of it." Jen told him. She looked up at the sky again. "What's the closest planet to Earth?"  
  
"Mars I think." Dib said. He said the planets quietly as he counted them off on his fingers. "Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto." Jen gave him a funny look.  
  
"The Milky Way only has nine planets in its solar system?" She asked. Dib nodded. "Wow! Most that I've seen have had at LEAST twenty or thirty! So I guess humans have been to them all, haven't they!" She said with a laugh. Dib looked down at his computer again.  
  
"Actually. We've only been to the moon." He answered, sounding slightly embarrassed. "Well, I've been to Mercury once when fighting Zim, but no one else knows about that."  
  
Jen stopped laughing. "Really? Only the moon?"  
  
"Yeah." Dib couldn't help but think of how incredibly stupid humans must have sounded to Jen at that moment. But if that was what she was thinking she didn't say anything. She was looking up at the sky again, lost in her own thoughts. The stars reflected in her sapphire blue eyes, making them resemble two tiny universes all their own.  
  
"So did you hear about the new kid?" Jen asked after a moment of silence.  
  
"What new kid?" Dib asked. Jen shrugged.  
  
"I heard Mr. Elliot telling Ms. Bitters that a new kid was supposed to be coming to our class." She replied. "Other than that I don't know anything about them."  
  
"Think they'll be human?" Dib asked. Jen laughed.  
  
"It figures that that would be the first question you would ask."  
  
"Well, look at it this way." Dib said, looking away from his computer. "Our last new person was you, an Irken. Before you was a girl named Tak, who ended up being Irken too. Before was Zim, obviously not human. Before Zim was a kid who I'm still sure was a Big-Foot baby, but he left. Then there was a vampire girl and the witch twins.."Dib thought a moment. "I think that's all." Jen thought a moment.  
  
"I see what you mean." She said. "I hope they aren't half mer-person. I don't think we'd get along very well."  
  
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Another slightly slow chapter, sorry about that. I was thinking about not even posting this chapter and moving strait to the next part but there's a few things in this part that are needed for the story to make sense later. Bear with me. (I think I said that last time didn't I?)  
  
~HelgaGP 


	4. Chap 4 Helga in A Shoebox

Hmmm. Well, This isn't my most popular story ever. Only one review last chapter, Thank-you Sweetinsanity. Then again, my last chapter wasn't much. I wouldn't have posted that part at all, but somethings Jen said are slight foreshadowing for latter.  
  
And now that skool is out maybe I can post more. So here I go. This chapter is slightly more usefull to the story line. I think. Mmm.cookie dough.  
  
You know what a disclaimer says.  
  
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Chapter 5- Moving In  
  
"Well, here we are!" Big Bob Pataki stood on the front side walk and gestured proudly at the new house. "The new Pataki Palace!"  
  
Helga got out of the car and looked up at the house, raising half her uni- brow at the house her father seemed so proud of.  
  
"It's a shoe-box." Helga told him dully. And it DID look like a shoe box, long side up. A perfect, two story, gray, rectangle. "I'm living in a shoe-box." She pulled her suitcase out of the back seat and carried it up to the front door.  
  
The front door lead directly into the kitchen, which was mostly black. Black fridge, black stove, black counter tops, black island table. The only things not black in the room were the walls and ceiling, which were a nearly white cream color, and the woman who was trying to find a place to plug in her blender.  
  
"Hey, Mirrium. Finding any good outlets?" Helga asked her mother.  
  
"oh, Helga." Mirrium laughed tiredly. "You're so funny." Helga rolled her eyes and walked through the kitchen to a flight of gray stairs between the kitchen and a small living room. The living room had gray carpet and walls to match the kitchen. It was empty but Bob's easy chair, big screen TV and all of Olga's trophies would change that in a hurry.  
  
Up stairs were two bedrooms and a bathroom. The first bedroom was nice. White walls, white carpet, quite spacious. Helga moved on to the next room to find olive green walls, brown carpet and not so spacious. She threw her suitcase on the floor of this room.  
  
"Great." She muttered. "What was Bob thinking when he bought this place?"  
  
"Hey Olga! Get down here and help bring in our stuff!" Bob called up the stairs.  
  
"Comeing dad!" She called back, making sure he could hear her annoyance. She stomped back down the stairs. Her mom had found an outlet and was now arranging her smoothie ingreadiants in a cupboard above the blender.  
  
Outside Helga found her dad standing by the car, his arms crossed over his chest, studying a house across the assfault circle.  
  
"Would ya check out THAT house?" Bob told Helga with a chuckle. "What weirdo lives there?"  
  
Helga looked at the house and her eyes widened.  
  
The house was a bright blue green color with a purple roof. Oddly shaped windows were placed in the front walls and it was a lot smaller than the houses around it. The strangest thing about the house was the yard. Large lawn gnomes were placed on either side of the sidewalk and what looked like puffer-fish on long poles.  
  
"Probably some crazy old lady." Helga replied. "Ha. Whoever lives there would get along GREAT with Arnold's grandma." The sudden thought of Arnold made tears sting her eyes. She quickly grabbed two bags and went back into the house.  
  
Helga droped the bags on the table and ran up the stairs, locking the door on the green room as soon as she was inside. She sat down against the door and cried. Her hands shook a little as she pulled the gold locket out of her shirt and looked at the picture of Arnold on the front of it. The sight of him made her cry harder.  
  
"Helga? Helga, honey? You okay in there?" Mirrium asked, knocking gently on the door.  
  
"I'm FINE, Mirrium." Helga growled. "Just PERFECT!" She added sarcasticly. Either her mom took the hint that her daughter wanted to be alone or didn't notice the sarcasm. Either way, she went back down stairs, soon the muffled roar of the blender filled the small house.  
  
Helga slapped herself. "Come on Helga! You're blubbering like Pheobe was when you talked to her!" Disgusted with herself for crying she stuffed the locket back into the hidden pocket and stood up. "Toughen up!" She told herself as she walked to the one window in the room. "You don't need that Foot-Ball Head! A few days here and you forget.about.huh?!"  
  
The window over looked the rest of the neighborhood. Across the blacktop circle a lime green dog and a bright blue cat walked down the side walk, each drinking a Brainfreezy.  
  
Helga squeezed her eyes shut, held them shut a moment, then looked back at the side walk. The cat and dog were gone.  
  
'I might go insane first." Helga whispered, still searching the area for the strange creatures. "But I WILL get over Arnold."  
  
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Okay. That's all I'm putting in this chapter. If I add the next part into this chap it'll be too long of a chapter. Not much happened. Sorry. It WILL get better soon. Please Review! Thanks  
  
~HelgaGP 


	5. Chap 5 The Origins of 'ChickenPotPie Boy...

Wow. I'm actually getting another chapter up in fairly good time. I love summer. I've got nothing to say, so, I don't own. Kay? I just own Jen and Cat. So on with it!  
  
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Chapter 5- The Origins of Chicken-Pot-Pie Boy  
  
"Hey, Short-Man! Catch!" Arnold looked up just in time to see a suitcase hurling at his face. He caught it right before it could break his nose and set it with the others near the door where the bags were patiently waiting for Arnold's Grandma, Pooky, to bring them inside.  
  
"Got it, Grandpa." Arnold called to Phil. He looked up and watched a jet move slowly across the sky, it was moving in the general direction of his old city. How he wished he were on it. Without trying, Arnold sighed sadly.  
  
The sigh wasn't as quiet as Arnold would have liked it to be because Phil straightened up before he picked up the next bags and looked at his grandson.  
  
"What's got you down in the dumps?" He asked, walking over to Arnold. "You should be happy! No more collecting rent every month.HA! No more putting up with tenants at all! LOOK at this place, Arnold!" Phil threw his arms in the air over his head and looked up at the house, motioning to the great size of it.  
  
"This place it great! It must be at least twice the size of that dinky Sunset Arms! And best of all, it's just you, me and Pooky in it!" Phil insisted.  
  
Arnold looked up at the large two-story house. The bottom half was a normal rectangular box shape, but the roof peaked into two triangles. It was a beautiful sapphire blue color. (Note: This house can be seen in a few eps of IZ.) Arnold looked around the neighborhood, which wasn't in blocks like he was used to, but in a large circle around an open blacktop. This house was by far the largest.  
  
Arnold smiled a little. "I guess you're right." He admitted. "The house really is great. But I just really miss Gerald and my other friends." Phil and Arnold sat down on the cement front step.  
  
"Of course you miss your old friends!" Phil exclaimed. "But you'll make loads of new friends here. Then you'll have twice the amount of friends!" Arnold perked up a little and gave his grandfather a smile.  
  
"Hey, I never thought about it that way. Thanks, Grandpa."  
  
"And if you DON'T make friends here and become a social outcast, you can just live here with your grandma and me all your life." Phil said, sounding comforting but not really succeeding. Arnold's smile faded a little. "And when Pooky and I die you can hide out up in the attic and haunt the next people who move in."  
  
"Uhh.right, Grandpa." Arnold said, moving a few inches away from Phil. "Or I could just move back home and be with my old friends."  
  
"Oh, come on, Arnold! You could be a neighborhood legend!" Phil continued. "'The Phantom of the Big House'!" He said with a mysterious tone, wiping his hand across the air as if he could see a sign there. Arnold gave him a doubtful look.  
  
"No, huh? Don't like that one? Let me see." Phil sat a thought a moment. "Oo! Oo! I know! How 'bout 'Chicken-Pot-Pie Boy'! You'd have to steal all the family's chicken-pot-pies to pull that name off but those things are tasty so it would be worth it." Arnold raised an eyebrow at his grandpa.  
  
"No? Well, just think about it. The offer is always open." Phil said as he stood up. "Well, I don't know where that hair-brained grandmother of your has gone off too but these bags need to get inside." He opened the door, picked up the bags and stepped inside. A second later he stuck his head back out. "You comin' in, Short-Man? I'll make you some coco."  
  
"No thanks, Grandpa." Arnold declined, shaking his head a little. "I'm going to sit out here a little longer."  
  
"Well.okay.if that's what you want to do." Phil went back inside. Arnold turned back toward the other houses, a familiar-looking car with a U-haul chained to the back was parked out side the house directly across from him. Arnold couldn't figure out where he'd seen the car before.  
  
"POOKY!! WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?!" The peaceful silence was shattered by Phil's cry. Pooky's insane laughter followed immediately after.  
  
Not sure if he really wanted to know what his grandma had that had made his grandpa yell like that, Arnold stayed out on the step, looking around the neighborhood. He looked up, but the jet was gone, a thinning wisp of white dotting it's trail. He looked back down to Earth and noticed a bright green-blue color out the corner of his eye.  
  
Arnold turned his head to find that this color was on a house. A very..strange house. Oddly shaped, with giant lawn gnomes, puffer-fish on poles and even a sign that read 'I Love Earth' decorating the front lawn. A high wooden fence blocked the yard from most view.  
  
Arnold quickly decided that some unfriendly, misunderstood, old man or woman lived there. The kind of person he could probably help.  
  
His eyes fell on the pink car again. Now he remembered where he had seen a car like that. It resembled the Pataki family car.  
  
"I wonder where Helga ended up." Arnold said quietly to himself. Then a thought hit him. It was going to be weird not having Helga around. She was always popping up in the strangest places, almost as if she was following him around. But that wasn't likely, Helga had hated him. So why would she have been following him?  
  
Arnold pushed all thoughts of his old home to the back of his mind and continued scanning the neighborhood.  
  
All pretty normal. Currently it was quiet too. No animals outside, no cars driving past, the only sign of human life was a young green girl standing out in front of another fenced off, darker blue house. Arnold sighed and looked up at the sky again.  
  
Wait.  
  
His eyes widened slightly and he looked back at the girl. She was shading her eyes and scanning the circle of houses. She had blonde, shoulder length hair and was wearing a lavender sweater and blue jeans, and green skin.  
  
As Arnold watched a light breeze blew a few strands of hair into her face. She pushed them back, but the wind blew them right back into her face. Arnold was wondering why she didn't just put her hair behind her ears when she pushed it back again and revealed that she had no ears. Arnold squinted a little, not sure if he'd seen right, but it was true, and now he noticed she didn't have a nose either.  
  
"Strange." Arnold commented quietly. "I wonder what's wrong with her?"  
  
Just then, the odd girl took her hands down from her eyes and cupped them over her mouth.  
  
"CAAAAAAAAAAT!" She called. "CAAAAAAAAAAT! Ummm..Here kitty, kitty, kitty!" She then crossed her arms over her chest and looked slowly around the neighborhood again.  
  
Arnold stood up and took a few steps forward. Maybe he could help her find her cat. He was only a few feet from the front step when a high-pitched scream came from inside his own house. The happy screaming continued, never even stopping for breath, and grew louder, coming closer. Arnold had just begun to turn back toward the open door when something ran by, hitting his legs and sending him to the sidewalk. Luckily, his arms were out and he caught himself, giving his nose it's second narrow escape of being broken of the day.  
  
Arnold looked up quickly to see..something..running down the sidewalk toward the green girl. The girl saw the thing and gasped, her hands flying to her mouth and eyes growing larger in shock.  
  
The thing looked like it was made of gold, the sunlight reflecting brightly off its shiny body. It wrapped its thin gold arms around the girl's legs and let out a happy squeal.  
  
Arnold got to his feet quickly, thinking the girl would scream and try to get away from it. The thing was small but it could be stronger than it looked. She might need help.  
  
However, the girl didn't scream. Instead, she picked the little creature up and hugged it. She smiled at it and it smiled back. Arnold could now see it had large, solid purple eyes. It looked like a robot.  
  
Suddenly the girl saw Arnold watching them. Her eyes widened in what looked almost like fear, she gasped again. She rushed behind the fence of her yard, blocking Arnold's view of her. A moment later, there was the sound of a door slamming from the same yard.  
  
Arnold just stood there a moment, staring at the place the green girl and gold 'robot' had been. He began to notice a stinging feeling in his hands where they had hit the rough concrete of the sidewalk. He looked down at them, they were red and scratched up pretty bad, a little blood, but nothing serious. He could take care of them later.  
  
He started toward the main sidewalk that formed a gray outline to the blacktop circle. There was only one house between his house and the girl's house. He could apologize for staring at her, maybe find out what that gold thing really was, and be home before his grandparents even noticed he was gone.  
  
"Come and get 'er! YEE-HA!" His grandma suddenly called from inside the house, her voice had taken on a southern accent. Must be steak and beans. Arnold glanced at the other blue house then turned back to his.  
  
Maybe he'd go over and talk to the girl later.  
  
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	6. Chap 6 A New Girl and a New Alien?

Well, sorry that the chapters are kinda short but I quickly get sick of typing. This chapter should be a little longer.. I think.  
  
Oh, someone said something about getting across the country so quickly. I always thought 'Hey Arnold' took place near Seattle, Washington. But if not.. behold the power of a plot hole.  
  
I no own stuff. Jhonen, Craig, and the evils known as the Channel-and- company-that-shall-not-be-named do. I DO own Jen and Cat YOU WONT TAKE THEM FROM ME!!! THEY IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!! Kay?  
  
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Chapter 6- New girl and new..alien?  
  
"Class, I would NOT like to introduce you to a new student, but it seems I have no choice. So everyone, meet Helga Pataki. She will be joining our doomed little group." Ms. Bitters, an old teacher who truly lived up to her name, announced to the rest of her class. She looked down at the blonde girl standing next to her. "Now, take your seat next to Jen so I may begin the slow process of crushing your soul." Bitters pointed to an empty desk second from the front and second from the wall.  
  
From her desk, Jen waved a little and smiled to indicate who she was. Helga's uni-brow raised slightly as she stared back at Jen.  
  
Jen couldn't help but notice that this new girl had been staring at her and Zim ever since she had first entered the classroom and seen them. Jen knew exactly why she was staring, but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable.  
  
As Helga walked to her desk, she kept one eye on Jen.  
  
Jen stared back. The strangest feeling had just washed over her. She was sure she'd seen this Helga girl before....maybe even known her before? But as she scanned her memory nothing came up.  
  
"Hey." Jen said, trying to sound friendly despite her confusion and slight uncomfort. Helga sat down at her desk and gave Jen a quick once-over (again) before returning the greeting.  
  
"Um...Hi."  
  
"I'm Jen."  
  
"You're....green." Helga replied. Jen held her hands up to her face in fake shock.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Jen exclaimed, sounding almost scared. "I AM!" The look of surprise and fear disappeared instantly and she looked dully at Helga. "And your point would be?"  
  
Helga glanced around the room quickly, searching for more green people or any one who might back her up. Everyone else was staring off into space. One boy with spiky black hair was watching them but he was on the other side of the room.  
  
"People aren't usually green." Helga told Jen, giving her an odd look. "Or haven't you noticed that either?"  
  
"Stupid pigtailed-human!" The other green kid, sitting in front of Jen, turned around to glare at Helga. "It's merely a skin condition." Jen nodded in agreement.  
  
"Helga," Jen said. "Allow me to introduce you to my loving, faithful cousin Zim." She slipped her arm around his shoulders. Zim immediately shrugged her arm off.  
  
"Yes, faithful. I AM faithful to my leaders!" Zim exclaimed, glaring at Jen. "Unlike SOME people I know who wouldn't give their squeedily-spooch to save her ruler's life!"  
  
Jen glared back. "You can turn around now, Zim." She hissed.  
  
"I'll turn around when I want to, Jen." He snapped back. Jen and Helga both stared at him for a few moments. Zim's eyes shifted from one girl to the other. None of them said anything.  
  
"NOW I will turn around!" Zim announced and did just that.  
  
"Did he just call me a 'pig-tailed human'?" Helga asked. Jen kept staring at the back of Zim's head.  
  
"Yeah. Just ignore him." Jen told her. "He has some issues." Jen smiled a little when she saw Zim's hands clench into fists at her words. She even thought she heard a low growl. Jen turned back to Helga. "Hey, if ya want to, you can hang around with me today and I can show you where everything is." She offered.  
  
Helga hesitated a moment then shrugged. "I gotta figure this place out somehow." She replied. "And, other than Zit over here," Another low growl came from in front of Jen. "You're the only one I've met. So, hey, why not?"  
  
"Okay." Jen nodded. "Today at recess I'll show you around the skool." Helga nodded in agreement. They both turned back to face the front, though neither of them made a decent attempt to follow Ms. Bitters' lecture on the Great Depression, which, according to the old teacher, was proof as to how doomed society was.  
  
In only a matter of seconds Helga found herself back in Mr. Simmons' classroom. Jen's desk became Phoebe's and a desk a few rows in front of her, which in her current classroom didn't exist, she stared dreamily at the back of Arnold's head.  
  
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"I wouldn't eat that if I were you." Jen warned, as Helga was about to eat a forkful of mashed potatoes.  
  
"Hey, I'm hungry! I'll eat what I want to!" Helga snapped back. She had spent the morning daydreaming about her old school. She was now in a very sour mood.  
  
Jen held up her hands as if to push Helga away. "Hey, fine, do what ya want." She replied. "But if your liver disappears don't say I didn't warn you." Helga's fork stopped half way to her mouth. She turned her eyes downward to look at the white, lumpy mass stuck to the prongs.  
  
"You're joking, right?" Helga asked. At that moment Zim walked by behind her.  
  
"I don't know, let's find out." He chuckled and moved on to an empty table. Helga turned to glare at him, he glared back. They held this look a few moments, challenging the other to look away first. Finally, it was Helga who broke the gaze.  
  
"What is wrong with that kid!?" She exclaimed. She turned back to find Jen mashing what had seconds before been already mashed potatoes but had some how regained their original, oval, potato shape.  
  
Jen shrugged. "I dunno. He's Zim. That's the best explanation I've got." She looked up from the potatoes, which immediately took back their solid structure, and studied her cousin. "Don't take anything he says too seriously." Jen said after a moment. "He sometimes says things that make him sound...well, just don't listen to him."  
  
Helga turned around to look at Zim again. "Weird-o." She muttered and turned back to her tray. "Is the celery all right? Or will it destroy my brain?"  
  
"No." Jen replied. Helga lifted a green stalk toward her mouth. "Celery tends to eat away at the pancreas." Helga dropped the vegetable back onto her tray.  
  
"What about carrots?" Helga asked cautiously.  
  
"Those are fine." Jen told her, she took a bite of one of her own baby carrots. Helga threw three into her mouth at once. "At least," Jen went on. "No one's found anything wrong with them yet."  
  
Helga paused in chewing, then shrugged and swallowed. "Eh, good enough." She began eating the rest of the carrots. "So, can I ask you something?" Helga asked around her mouthful of carrot.  
  
"Shoot." Jen replied. Helga swallowed and went on.  
  
"Why are you being so nice to me? No one else around here even seems to notice I exist! Heck! This one kid walked right into me three times before realizing I was there and moved around me!" She said. Jen shrugged.  
  
"I was just moved her a few month ago myself." She told her. "I know what it's like to be the 'new kid'. Everyone seemed to forget me before they knew me. Then I made a friend and everything was all right. I thought I'd just make it a little easier for you. You can hang out with me and Dib if you want."  
  
"Who's Dib?" Helga asked, she was watching her chocolate chip cookie now, she could've sworn she had put it on the other side of her tray.  
  
"My friend." Jen replied. "Most people think he's a little, well, crazy," She admitted. "But once you get to know him he's actually pretty cool."  
  
"Crazy?" Helga asked, her thoughts turned instantly to Curly Gamblethorp from her old school. Was this Dib another Curly? They say every school has one....  
  
"Not insane." Jen said quickly, seeing Helga's nervous look. "He's really into the paranormal and that kinda stuff. People just see that and instantly think he's full of it. But you'll probably like him."  
  
Helga smiled a little. That didn't sound like Curly. More like Sid.  
  
"So. Where'd you come from?" Helga asked, taking a bite of her last carrot. Jen froze.  
  
"wh-what?" Jen stammered, trying to keep the nervous look off her face.  
  
"You said you moved here a few months ago." Helga replied. "Where did you live before?"  
  
"Oh." Jen nodded. "Umm." She began racking her brain. She needed the name of a city, a town, any name! Why hadn't she listened better in geography? Maybe she could just make one up? WHY hadn't she come up with a story for this before?!  
  
"I-I...Um...well, I lived.." Her mind drew a blank, Helga sat across from her, waiting to hear about Jen's old town.  
  
"JEN!" Dib's voice rang out from across the cafeteria, all chatter and other sounds died away as everyone turned to stare at Dib. Jen breathed a sigh of relief. She'd have to thank him for this later.  
  
"Jen!" He repeated as he rushed over to her table. "This is incredible! I think I just saw another alie--- hello." Dib had just noticed Helga sitting across from Jen.  
  
"Helga, this is Dib." Jen introduced them. "Dib, Helga."  
  
"Hey." Helga said with a little nod.  
  
"Hi." Dib replied. He looked at Helga a moment longer, as if trying to place her, then turned back to Jen. "Um, do you think I could talk to you in private for a moment?" he asked. Jen looked at Helga.  
  
"Um, do you mind if I go talk to Dib for a minute? I'll be right back."  
  
Helga grinned a little and raised half of her eyebrow. "Go ahead." She said.  
  
"Thanks." Jen said quickly, not noticing Helga's look. "Be right back." Dib grabbed Jen's wrist and hurried out of the cafeteria.  
  
Once they were out the door Helga cast a quick look around the cafeteria. Everyone had gone back to their earlier conversations, no one was even looking in her direction. Quickly Helga reached into her pink dress and pulled out the golden heart locket she kept hidden in the white tee shirt's pocket.  
  
"Arnold." She sighed. "How I miss you." She pulled the picture to her chest and hugged it tightly. Then she looked back down at Arnold's smiling face. The drone of the cafeteria faded into a barely audible buzz to Helga as she fell totally into her own thoughts.  
  
A few seconds later a new sound penetrated her reverie. Tiny squeaks, little someone who was too happy to stay silent, though they were trying very hard. Out of pure habit, Helga brought her fist up and punched the kid in the nose. A thud followed as he fell to the floor.  
  
It took Helga a few moments to realize that the sound had been squeaks of happiness, not raspy breathing, and there was no way that it could've been brainy behind her.  
  
Helga looked under the table to find a small boy with a puff of red hair, wearing a blue shirt with a rainbow on it, curled up in pain at her feet. Helga raised her eyebrow at him, then, deciding the boy would be just fine, turned back to gaze longingly at Arnold's beautiful face.  
  
"I wish you were here, my love." She whispered.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, I think that was a little longer. Please review. Review and more shall come...eventually any way. Thanks.  
  
~HelgaGP 


	7. Chap 7 How not to make friends

What is this? I'm updating? Is this possible? YES!! This fic is not dead. None of my fics are dead. I just haven't been updating for a while. (It's been over a year) I also have half of the next chapter to 'The End of the Beginning' typed too. Just gotta finish typing it and post it. Oh well. I'll get it done. Hopefully in this lifetime.  
  
But... (Insert Disclaimer Here) And on with the next chapter.  
  
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Chapter 7- How Not to Make Friends  
  
"DIB! Would ya slow down? You're hurting my wrist." Jen exclaimed breathless from running. Dib was still holding her wrist tightly, half dragging her down the hall toward their classroom.  
  
"Oh, yeah, sure." Dib replied absently. He let go of her wrist, not slowing down in the slightest. A moment later, he skidded to a stop and turned around. Jen had stopped two doors down and was now examining her wrist for possible damage do to loss of circulation.  
  
"Jen, come on! You've gotta see this! Quick! Before he escapes." Dib said impatiently. His voice had taken on that tone it did when he was in one of his 'Save the World' moods.  
  
Jen stayed where she was a few seconds longer. Finally, when she had decided her wrist was fine, she began jogging down the hall again.  
  
"I'm coming. Just wait." She caught up with him and they both continued to the door of Ms. Bitters' classroom. "Now, what did you want me to see so badly that you felt you had to cut the circulation to my hand?" Jen asked as they stopped outside the door.  
  
"I think I found another alien!" Dib told her excitedly. "Look!" He pointed in the window to the classroom. Jen stood on tiptoe to see in.  
  
Her eye widened. It looked like he could be right. A boy and an old man stood in front of Ms. Bitters' desk. The old teacher sat behind it, looking at something on her computer, and not looking happy with the results.  
  
But... this boy... his HEAD! It was shaped like... a football... a messy, blond haired football. Well, at least Dib might get a break.  
  
The boy in question looked around absently, he caught sight of Jen peeking through the window and his eyes widened. Jen got down quickly, slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Well?" Dib asked her impatiently.  
  
"I've seen that guy before!" Jen said as she turned to face her friend. Dib's face lit up.  
  
"On what planet?" He asked, excited. Jen laughed.  
  
"Earth. He's my new neighbor." Jen replied. A flash of something ran through her mind, and then was gone. "He seems familiar though..." She added quietly to herself. Dib's smile faded a bit.  
  
"But do you think it's possible that he could be an alien?" He asked hopefully.  
  
"Anything's possible." Jen shrugged. She went back on tiptoe and studied the boy. "But I've never heard of a species with a football shaped head. And the guy beside him looks... umm... fairly human..." She stepped away from the door as the boy looked at her again. She shrugged. "I dunno."  
  
Dib thought for a few moments. "Do you think he'd tell me if I asked?"  
  
Jen stared at him. "What? How long has it been since you had to start a new research file on a possible alien? Did I just walk up to you on my first day and say 'Hi! I'm Jen! I'm from the planet Irk!'?"  
  
"Well, not that exact wording... but, yeah, that's pretty much what you did." He replied.  
  
Jen crossed her arms and leaned back against the door, putting one foot up on it as she thought back on that day. "Hmm... you're right. But you knew Zim was an Irken and you knew I was his cousin, so it's not like I revealed any new info to you." She leaned her full weight on the door.  
  
"But he could be stupid and tell the truth, right?" Dib asked, still hopeful.  
  
Jen sighed. "Dib, I really don't think the guy's an alien. But, hey, if you really want to go ask him, go ahead! Don't let me get in the way of making yourself look like—"Her voice caught in her throat as the door supporting her disappeared. She gave a small scream as she fell to the floor, cracking her head against the hard tile.  
  
"—An idiot..." Jen finished. She squeezed her eyes shut against the pain, a tear slid down her cheek. "Owww...."  
  
"Are you alright?" Two male voices asked in unison. Jen opened her eyes to find three Dibs and three football-headed boys standing over her. Triplets of the old man bent over her a moment later.  
  
"I'm fine." Jen replied as both boys helped her to her feet. She kept one hand pressed to her head, part from pain, part to keep her wig on. When she was standing, leaning against Dib, she closed her eyes tightly again.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright?" The football head asked, sounding uncertain.  
  
"I'm sure." Jen told him. She took a step away from Dib, stumbled and collapsed on the floor again.  
  
"Jen!" Dib exclaimed. He knelt down beside her. She curled up against a wall and hid her face in her hands.  
  
She was watching something in her mind. Kids playing stickball, a teacher who was actually NICE, people she didn't know but felt like she should, a door opening to a rush of animals.  
  
"I don't know, Short-man..." The old man said. "I think you're going about this 'making new friends' thing the wrong way. Knocking them unconscious isn't the way I made friends when I was a boy. Not that I didn't try..."  
  
"She's not unconscious, Grandpa." The boy told him, nervously. He turned back to Dib "Is she?"  
  
"No, she's awake." Dib answered, glancing at the other boy, then returning his attention to Jen. "Jen? Can you talk to me?" He took her wrists and gently pulled her hands away from her face. She stared at her own hands a moment then looked up at him as if trying to remember who he was. In her mind, the pictures still played like a slide show of a past life.  
  
"Dib?" She asked slowly, her voice small and childish.  
  
"Yeah?" He replied. She smiled.  
  
"I fell down!" She frowned and rubbed the back of her head. "And it hurt. Bad."  
  
"Yeah... I saw that." Dib said sounding a little worried.  
  
Jen's eyes shifted up to the football headed boy. She stared at him a moment. "I know you." She told him.  
  
"I moved in down the street from you. That's where you've seen me." Arnold told her.  
  
Jen looked at him and shook her head. "No...Owww..." She put her hands up to her face again.  
  
"Maybe we should get her to a doctor..." Grandpa suggested.  
  
"NO!" Dib exclaimed.  
  
"Or we can keep her in the hall and hope she doesn't have a concussion." The boy's grandpa replied.  
  
"Jen?" Dib asked again. "Are you going to be okay?"  
  
Jen nodded. The pictures in her mind dissolved away, leaving a blank feeling in her mind. She took her hands away from her face and looked up at the boy again. "Yeah..." She said quietly, feeling slightly confused. "Yeah, I saw you yesterday."  
  
"I'm Arnold." The boy told her, extending his hand out to her to help her up.  
  
"Jen." Jen replied, taking his hand. Arnold pulled her to her feet. Jen stared at him a few moments.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Arnold asked.  
  
"What? Oh, no." Jen said, looking away quickly. She felt like she should know him. Her eyes settled on Dib. "Oh, and this is Dib." She added, motioning to her friend.  
  
"Hi." Dib and Arnold said in unison. Arnold turned back to Jen.  
  
"I saw you too." He told her. "You and a gold thing. Not to be nosey, but what was that thing? It seemed to like you."  
  
'It liked Pooky's raspberry pie, too." Arnold's grandpa grumbled.  
  
"Oh..." Jen fumbled. "That was....my.... toy. Yeah."  
  
"Toy? I've never seen a toy like that before." Arnold commented.  
  
"It's one of those new kinds. Robo-type. Ya know, like from Japan. They make a lot of high-Tec stuff in that country, lotsa robots and... smart stuff like that...yeah..." Jen was just rambling now, she knew it, but she just couldn't shut up.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I've heard of that before." Arnold replied, not entirely sure that he really had. He looked at them with a slight suspicion. "So, why were you two watching us?"  
  
"You're the second new kid we've gotten today." Dib replied quickly, saving Jen from needing to come up with another story. "We were curious."  
  
"Oh!" Jen exclaimed suddenly. "Helga! I forgot about Helga! She's probably wondering where I went!"  
  
Arnold's eyes widened slightly. "Helga?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah." Jen nodded, "she's the other new kid."  
  
"Helga.... Pataki?" Arnold asked, not looking too happy.  
  
Jen and Dib looked at each other a moment then nodded at Arnold.  
  
"Yeah, I think that was her last name." Jen said in surprise. "You know her?"  
  
"Maybe." Arnold shook his head. "I hope not. She was a bully back at my old school... we didn't get along well, to say the least."  
  
Jen smiled. "Well, this Helga's pretty cool. Come on, we'll introduce you two. Er, or RE-introduce you." Arnold nodded and began following Jen and Dib back toward the cafeteria.  
  
"Well, see ya, Arnold." His grandpa called back as he began down the hall in the other direction, toward the door. "I gotta get back to the house to make sure your hair-brained grandmother hasn't gotten herself lost in the attic again."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Oooooo... uhhhhg..."  
  
Helga ignored the groaning coming from the floor under the table, keeping her gaze on her locket and the beautiful face that filled it.  
  
"Ugh." The sound of cloth sliding over the linoleum-tiled floor replaced the groans a moment later. Helga looked down and watched a light blue shoe pull itself away. She shrugged and went back to her locket.  
  
"Oh Arnold...." She sighed quietly. "I wish you were here..."  
  
"Hi, Helga."  
  
Helga gasped, jumped a little, nearly dropping the locket, as Jen sat down across from her. Jen noticed the golden object in her hand.  
  
"What's that?" She asked.  
  
"This?" Helga looked down at it and quickly shoved it back in her hidden breast pocket. She looked up and scowled at Jen. "None of your business!"  
  
Jen moved back on the bench slightly, a bit startled. Helga realized her mistake.  
  
"I mean, it's nothing. It's just.... Something...something given to me by one of my friends back home." She lied. Jen didn't look completely convinced. She could tell when someone was keeping something back. She had plenty of experience in that field.  
  
"So... which friend gave it to you?" Jen asked casually, just to see if she could maybe catch Helga in her lie.  
  
"umm..... Pheobe!" Helga answered quickly.  
  
"Hmm..." Jen hummed thoughtfully, watching Helga's face. "Say, did you ever meet a guy named Arnold?"  
  
"ARNOLD?!" Helga yelped. "I mean... It rings a bell... faintly... why?"  
  
"Helga?" Helga froze at the sound of her name being said by that all too familiar voice. She looked up over Jen's head to find her crush walking up behind the green girl, Dib walking beside him. But Helga really didn't see Dib at the moment.  
  
"ARNOLD?!" Helga screamed. The surprise jarred her so badly she fell over backward off her bench. Arnold moved around the table and looked down at her in surprise, Helga stared back. Jen leaned over the table to watch and Dib walked around to stand a little behind Arnold.  
  
"So... I'm assuming it's the same girl." Dib guessed. No one answered.  
  
"Do you need help up?" Arnold asked politely, extending his hand to her. It took Helga a few more moments to come back to the real world. When she did, she didn't look happy.  
  
"NO, I don't need your help, Football Head!" Helga growled. Arnold pulled his hand back slowly. "CRIMANY! I thought I had rid myself of you!" She went on as she pulled herself to her feet. "One of the few reasons I was GLAD I was moving was to get away from YOU!" Helga jabbed a finger at Arnold's nose. "I just can't get a break, can I? What are you doing? Stalking me?!"  
  
Arnold's eyes slid away from Helga's glaring face to scan the cafeteria. Everyone who hadn't gone outside yet for recess was watching them. One green boy was watching with a bit more interest than the others were.  
  
"I...didn't know you were here." Was all Arnold could say. Helga's eyes narrowed to small slits.  
  
"Let's keep it that way." She hissed. "From now on I don't know you and you don't know me. Got it?" Arnold smiled slightly.  
  
"Good idea." He said. Helga looked surprised a moment. "Let's start over. Like we just met."  
  
Helga sighed and put her hands on her hips. "You just don't get it, do you?" She asked. "Let me sound it out for you. I...don't...want...ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"  
  
Arnold took a surprised, slightly hurt step back. A strange look suddenly crossed Helga's face. She glanced at Jen, then Dib, then back at Arnold. A moment later, she was sprinting toward the doors. A few tables away, Zim slipped out of the cafeteria, un-noticed.  
  
A silence descended over the large room. Then, gradually, talking resumed and forks began clicking on trays again. Soon only Jen, Dib and Arnold were left in the silence.  
  
"Same girl?" Dib asked, sure he knew the answer. Jen looked from Dib to Arnold, staying quiet. Arnold just nodded.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I really got nothing to say. I hope to get more done sooner.  
  
~HelgaGP 


	8. Chap 8 Fun with Blackmail

Hello. Please enter Disclaimer. Thank you. Enjoy.  
  
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Chapter 8- Fun with Blackmail  
  
Helga ran out of the skool and on to the playground, mentally lecturing herself.  
  
"You just mess up every chance you get with him, don't you?" She accused herself. "The guy was offering to start over! I fresh start! Isn't that what you always wanted? A chance to show Arnold that you're not just a bully in pink?"  
  
"I know, I know!" Helga whispered. "I'm sorry! I just can't stop myself!"  
  
"I know you can't. It's a habit! It's all just a huge habit! You gotta break that habit! NOW! Crimany! You love the guy! That sweet, cute, lovable, wonderful, beautiful, spectacular, smart, interesting, helpful—"  
  
"ALRIGHT! All right already! I get the point!" Helga yelled, forgetting that she was standing in the middle of the playground. "I know! I said I was sorry! CRIMANY!" She froze. Slowly she glanced around. All the kids had stopped what they were doing to watch her yell at herself.  
  
"Uhh... Hi..." Helga said quietly, she smiled embarrassedly, then hurried away, heading toward the skool again.  
  
She slipped around the corner of the skool and leaned against a dumpster. When she was sure she was alone she reached into her shirt and pulled out the gold locket. She sighed sadly and stared at it a while.  
  
"Arnold..." She whispered, running one finger downward over the picture of his face. "Could it be that we are truly meant to be together? The Fates have once again kept us close to each other, my love! My prayers, my wishes of the last few days have been answered... yet... instead of greeting you with open arms, like I so deeply long to do... I turn you away. Oh, Arnold! Why do I do this, my love? Why do I torment you so? I wish I could just tell you the truth! That I love you, Arnold! Love you!"  
  
Helga hugged the locket to her chest, closed her eyes and raised her face to the sky. The sound of tiny, happy squeaks from right behind her made her open her eyes again. She scowled and threw up her right arm, nailing the kid in the face. She turned around and scowled down at the red-haired kid.  
  
"Look, bucko, are you TRYING to take Brainy's place? Or is there some other reason that I'm not allowed to be alone that I don't know about?" Helga demanded.  
  
"Wh-who's Br-Brainy?" The boy asked.  
  
Helga was about to answer when something almost above her rang of vision caught her eye. Her heart skipped a beat and she suddenly felt sick as she realized they were feet. A pair of black boots. She held her breath as her eyes traveled up the legs, over the long red shirt and into the smirking green face of Zim.  
  
Helga gasped and took a step backward, hitting the dumpster. The surprise for running into something caused her to lose her grip on the locket and it fell to the ground, Arnold side up. Zim stepped forward, the red-haired boy crawled out of his way and around the skool. Zim bent down and picked up the locket.  
  
"Well, well, what do we have here?" He asked in interest. Helga stared at him in horror as he examined the picture. "So." Zim said after a moment, looking back up at Helga. "You 'love' this Arnold creature?"  
  
She didn't answer.  
  
Zim grinned, a plan forming. "He doesn't know this, does he?" He asked.  
  
Again, Helga didn't answer.  
  
"I wonder what would happen if someone were to slip this bit of information to him?"  
  
Helga's eyes widened, then quickly morphed into a glare.  
  
"He wouldn't believe you." She told him defensively. "He'd think you were nuts!" Zim just grinned and held up the locket.  
  
"He will if I show him this." He replied. Fear flashed across Helga's face again but was gone the next moment.  
  
"Anyone could've made that locket." She snapped angrily. "For all he knows YOU could've made it just to make me look crazy!"  
  
"Not if I were to show it to the Arnold-thing right now." Zim said. "He just moved here yesterday. No one had time to make it. Except you, of course." He noticed the latch on the side of the locket and raised an eyebrow. "Hmm... What's this?"  
  
Helga felt her face go pale as Zim began fiddling with the latch. On impulse, she made a desperate grab for it, but he quickly pulled it out of her reach. The clasp popped open and the locket swung open.  
  
Helga felt paralyzed as Zim read over the inscription inside the golden heart, his grin widened.  
  
"'Arnold my soul,'?" Zim chuckled, reading the lines aloud. Helga screamed and tried to grab the locket again, Zim turned quickly and Helga fell to the ground. She looked back up with wide eyes as he went on in a mocking tone.  
  
"'You are always in my heart! Love, Helga G. Pataki.'!" Zim threw back his head and laughed, flipping the locket closed again. "Oh, yes, Hel-ga. I think I can convince this Arnold boy that you did, in fact, create this locket."  
  
"What did I ever do to you?" Helga growled as she pushed herself back to her feet.  
  
"Nothing." Zim answered. "I just think you could be useful to me."  
  
"Useful?" Helga repeated, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms, scowling at the kid.  
  
"Yes." He replied. "I will keep your pathetic little secret as long as YOU do some things for ME."  
  
Helga's jaw dropped in surprise. "You're BLACKMAILING me?!" She screamed. She glared at Zim. "Listen up, bucko, here's a new deal for ya; you tell ANYONE about this and I'll introduce you to Ol' Betsy!" She made a fist and held it up threateningly inches from Zim's face. He glared back at her.  
  
"NO! My fist! Obey MY FIST!" He demanded. He held up his fist in front of her face. So now they were stuck in a glare-match, both threatening to punch the other. Zim's glare changed into a smirk and he stepped back. "What am I doing? I highly doubt YOU could cause me any harm. And even if you did..." He held the locket up, slightly out of Helga's reach. "...That wouldn't make HIM forget."  
  
Helga stared at the locket, suddenly feeling helpless. She was defeated, and she hated it... and Zim.  
  
"Alright." She sighed. "What do you want me to do?" Zim's evil grin reappeared.  
  
"Come to my house after skool today. Come alone." He told her. He turned and began to walk away. Then he stopped and turned back to her. "Oh, and I'll be keeping THIS for a while" he held up the locket. Helga caught a glance of Arnold's face before it disappeared into the pocket of Zim's black pants. He then continued out onto the playground, laughing.  
  
Helga stayed where she was a while. Her eyes stuck on Zim's back, her mind still trying to process what had just happened.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Okay, It's short. But if I put the next chapter with this one it would be way too long and people would get sick of reading half way through. Of course, I'm pretty sure people are already sick of this fic. Reply and let me know if you are or not. Just let me know you're reading it!! Thanks!  
  
~HelgaGP 


	9. Chap 9 Grandma Says She's An Alien

Wow. Two chapters in one year. Amazing. I don't got much to say. Hopefully when skools out I'll do more with this stuff. And this will probably be short.  
  
Disclaimer: wanna disclaimer? Go back three chapters.

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Chapter 9- Grandma Says She's An Alien  
  
Arnold opened the door to his new home carefully, bracing himself for the stampede of various domestic, and sometimes not-so-domestic, animals. When nothing happened he relaxed and went inside. They still had all their pets, but they seemed to have enough room to run in the huge house.  
  
"I'm home." Arnold called, finding the kitchen vacant.  
  
"In here, Kimba!" Pooky's voice floated to him from the living room. Arnold walked across the white linoleum of the kitchen floor and through a dark wooden arch in the wall that led into the living room.  
  
There he found his grandparents in a mess of cardboard boxes, crumpled paper towels and packing peanuts.  
  
"Hey, Arnold." Phil greeted him, unwrapping a ceramic horse from a paper towel. "How'd your first day of school go?"  
  
"Not so well." Arnold sighed, pushing some packing peanuts off the plastic- wrapped couch and sitting down in their place. "After nearly knocking Jen unconscious, I found out that Helga Pataki has moved here too. Why Helga? Almost anyone would've been better than Helga G. Pataki!"  
  
Phil looked up as he set the horse on the coffee table. "Helga... Helga... isn't that the name of that little unibrowed, pig-tailed girl who hates your guts, yet seems to follow your every move?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, that's Helga." Arnold answered. He picked up a figurine of his best friend Gerald and studied it. "And that's not all. My new teacher, Ms. Bitters, has so many 'issues' I don't think the best psychiatrist in the world could help her, let alone me."  
  
"Yeah, I think that lady has a few screws lose." Phil muttered then added quickly. "But, hey, it was just your first day! Maybe you caught her in a bad mood or something."  
  
"A REALLY bad mood." Arnold agreed. "She spent three hours in the afternoon telling us how we'd all die painful, painful deaths. She went from kid to kid telling us each exactly how we'd die. According to her, my head will implode."  
  
"Eeee... glad I'm not you." Phil told him.  
  
"I'll go down with my ship!" Pooky exclaimed. She placed her hand over her heart, one foot up on the coffee table and looked strait ahead. "The SS Titanic will be her name! Arrrrr me matey!"  
  
"Another old lady with a screw loose." Phil murmured.  
  
Suddenly a high pitched squeal screeched through the house as Abner, Arnold's pet pig, ran into the room and jumped onto the couch, trying to push himself behind Arnold.  
  
"Whoa! What's wrong, boy? What's got you so shook up?" Arnold asked his trembling pet. More screams and a green dog and blue cat running into the room answered his question.  
  
"Well, there's my colorful little friends!" Pooky exclaimed happily.  
  
"Pooky! What the heck are those!?" Phil cried. Pooky hugged the little creatures.  
  
"This here is Gir." Pooky answered, gesturing to the dog. "And the cat is Cat. Rather appropriately named if you ask me. Although he's not really a cat. They're robots, and they belong to the alien kids."  
  
"'Alien kids'?" Arnold echoed. "Grandma, there's no such things as aliens."  
  
"Oh, Arnold! How can you say such a thing?" Pooky asked, shocked with her grandson's response. "Of course there're aliens! How else do you explain that green little girl right over there then?" She pointed out the window. Arnold stood up and walked over to the window to see what his grandma was pointing at.  
  
Jen and Dib were walking down the sidewalk pass the house. Jen was studying a dandelion and Dib was telling her about something. Jen didn't seem entirely interested in what he was saying, but she was trying.  
  
Arnold sighed. "Grandma, that's Jen. She's not an alien, she has a rare skin condition."  
  
"Two people one the same block have the same RARE skin condition?" Pooky asked with a wise grin.  
  
"They're cousins. It runs in the family." Arnold replied.  
  
"That's just what they want you to think." Pooky told him, sounding mysterious. "They fill your head with crazy stories," She wiggled her fingers strangely. "They make you believe things and then... THEY ATTACK!"  
  
"Grandma..." Arnold groaned, rolling his eyes.  
  
"If it takes filling heads with crazy stories to make you an alien then you must be from Pluto, Pooky." Phil told his wife. "Actually, it explains a lot."  
  
"If they're not aliens, then how about the robots?" Pooky said, sounding sure that comment would settle the discussion.  
  
"It's a cat and a dog." Arnold insisted. "And how do you know they belong to Jen?"  
  
"They don't." Pooky said. "Only Cat does. Gir is the OTHER alien's!"  
  
"Other ali—" Arnold groaned again. "Hey!" He exclaimed as Cat jumped onto his head, and waved out the window.  
  
"HIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" He screamed to the oblivious Jen and Dib.  
  
"Did that cat just say 'Hi'?" Phil asked suspiciously with narrowed eyes. Cat leaned forward toward the window, grabbing hand-fulls of Arnold's blond hair to keep himself on the boy's head. This sent Arnold off balance and he fell into the window. Gir laughed, ran forward and attached himself to Arnold's leg, pulling him to the floor. Cat sat down on Arnold's head and put the little blue hat on his own head.  
  
"Awwww! They like you, Arnold!" Pooky exclaimed, smiling.  
  
"Maybe you two should be taken home." Arnold suggested. "I'm sure whoever does own you is looking for you." Cat jumped off his head and Arnold struggled to his feet. Cat took Gir's example and hugged Arnold's other leg. The two oddly colored animals laughed insanely, Pooky joined in. Abner cowered in the far corner of the room. Phil considered joining the pig.  
  
"Alright, let's find your homes." Arnold decided. He slowly made his way toward the kitchen, dragging one creature-clad foot at a time. Pooky's wild laughter followed him the whole way.

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Okay, short, but I got something done, kay? The next chapter has more plot development in it. And the chapter AFTER that one is good. This one is really just filler. Well, no. This chap has some important points to it that help the plot. Well, please review and let me know how you think it's coming.  
  
HelgaGP 


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